Faces Of Violence
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Here you can read some
of the reasons, I am
called Broken Angel.
I have, for reasons I
don't care to explain
here, rewritten this
page.
If you have visited
before, you will notice
that.
I lived in a very
abusive marriage for 10
years. It was not easy,
and I had no one to help
me.
I was abused physically,
mentally, emotionally,
and at times sexually.
Abuse is a hard thing to
explain to people, they
all want to know, "well,
why didn't you just
leave?" Stop asking why
I didn't leave and ask
him why he abused.
When you live with an
abusive person, the
first thing they want to
do is gain complete
control of you. They
beat you down until you
feel like you're
nothing. You feel you
are not lovable, you
start to doubt yourself,
and they try to make you
think you are losing
your mind. They tell you
they are all you have,
and that nobody else
loves you. They keep you
away from family and
friends. Then, they have
you. You tell yourself,
nobody else would have
me, I'm such a terrible
person. You hear it for
so long, you begin to
believe it.
I was only 17 when I
married the first time,
quite young to be
getting married. Which
brings me to another
reason I call myself,
Broken Angel. My family,
that is those who are
related to me by blood
and birth, care nothing
about me. My mother
signed for me to get
married, because she
wanted to live by
herself so she could
live her own life. I
will not go into what
that life consisted of
here. But it wasn't
nice, and I am so happy
to say, I am not like
her.
My birth family did not
try to help me when I
was trying to "get out."
Instead, they worked
against me. They didn't
believe me when I told
them what I was going
through. I went to a
Women's Shelter the
first time I left. But
it didn't take long for
my birth family to let
my ex-husband know that
I was in a Women's
Shelter, and in what
city.
I was chased from my
house with a loaded
shotgun, and when I
called my sister crying,
she told me, "You are so
dramatic." Well, I
really can't say that I
know anyone who wouldn't
get dramatic staring
down the end of a loaded
shotgun.
My other sister wouldn't
help me because she said
I was wrong to leave my
ex-husband, and that the
things I said, only
happened on TV, and not
in real life. Lucky
sheltered lady. Besides
that, my ex-husband had
already called her to
tell lies, in which she
chose to believe over
me. I stood and told her
to her face that he was
lying, she said, "Well,
that's not how I heard
it." It was easy to see
where these people's
loyalty was, and it
wasn't with me.
I would have done
anything for them, and I
have done a lot for all
of them, but I guess it
was all wasted. I think
I was trying to make
them love me. You can't
make people love you,
they either do, or they
don't. And they don't.
PLEASE, I beg you, if
you have a friend or
family member who tells
you they are being
abused, HELP THEM. Don't
doubt them, there are so
many things in the world
you may not have heard
of or seen, but that
does not mean they don't
exist. It's better to
help, than wait until
this person is no longer
alive to ask you. There
are people dying
everyday due to abuse
escalating.
This all sounds very
depressing, BUT, I want
you to know, that there
is life after abuse, and
you CAN make your own
family.
The family we choose, or
that the Lord sends us,
is often times better
than those we are born
into.
Please visit the rest of
my site. Read about how
my life is now, and how
I have "REAL" family now
that cares about, and
loves me.
It just goes to show
you, you should never
give up. There is family
out there for you, you
just have to be patient.
I have written poems
about the (marital)
abuse,
if you're interested in
reading them, click
HERE.
This is the only link to
these poems.
Please be aware that
some of these poem are
triggering.
Read with caution.
Webset©2006 Janice
Jarnagin
All Rights Reserved
Do Not Copy
